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Peter Edgerton
Malaga
Friday, 25 April 2025, 11:27
According to a survey commissioned by YouGov, three of the ten happiest villages in Spain are to be found in the province of Malaga: Ronda, Benalmadena and Nerja. Lovely as all of these destinations are, it's true that they have relatively large populations - 33,000, 76,000 and 21,000 respectively. It would, I think, be interesting to launch a survey of the ten happiest villages with a population of fewer than, say, 3,000 people. In a bid to get the initiative off the ground, I've identified some crucial criteria that the judges might wish to look for in these endlessly charming places.
First, the village shop. This must be an inconspicuous doorway on an unprepossessing street covered in one of those dangly plastic strap affairs used to keep flies at bay. Upon entry, the shop must preferably give the impression that it's simply an extension of the shopkeeper's living room. At first glance there'll appear to be very little available for purchase but, paradoxically, anything you care to ask for from multi-coloured birthday candles to wing nuts for a lavatory cistern will be produced with a triumphant flourish from behind some clothes pegs that look as if they've been there since 1978.
The happiness factor is upped a little more if a few villagers are scattered liberally about the place sipping beer and discussing the year's prospective olive harvest.
Which brings us neatly to the next important factor - the village bar, in fact two or three of them if possible. In one of these establishments there needs to be the mayor or mayoress - not the official one, you understand, rather the one person in town who, by dint of an extraordinary feat of dexterity has their finger not only on the pulse but also in every pie. All problems are routed and solved through this pillar of the community.
A village square is also of the utmost importance. Here local events are to be celebrated with much gusto and not a little cake. Generations will come together to sit on the church steps, eat lovely plates of rice and dance unselfconsciously to the inordinately loud music emanating from speakers which would appear to belong to the same era as the clothes pegs. Fireworks fired from sticks and children hurtling hither and yon with no discernable plan will only add to the gaiety.
Finally, nicknames. In my experience, the happiness of any small village is in direct proportion to the number of affectionately attributed monikers the population holds.
These mustn't be complicated. If a man has a big moustache his nickname must be 'Big Moustache'. Similarly, if a woman wears only skirts all year round, whatever the weather, she'll be known as 'Skirts' for all eternity.
So, should YouGov ever wish to commission a survey of happiness in small villages, they'll be more than welcome to use this extensively researched template as a starting point. They should probably also ask 'Big Moustache' how happy he is. Very, I would hazard.
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