A moving story

Do get help. So, when somebody you barely know says 'Let me know if you need anything', just to be polite, make sure your answer begins with 'Actually...'

Peter Edgerton

Friday, 14 March 2025, 12:36

According to a study by somebody somewhere sometime, the third most stressful life event we face - after the death of a loved one and divorce - isn't Christmas day at your in-laws as you might expect, but rather, moving house. Having just undertaken such a venture, I thought it might be useful to offer some dos and donts based on my own hilarious gaffes, to allow readers to tear out just a little less hair when their turn comes.

First, do label all boxes with their contents. Don't, however, get bored and start writing things like 'stuff and nonsense' or 'not important' on some of them. You won't thank yourself for it later (five days after the event, I still can't find my glasses).

Next, do put all important documentation in one box. Don't be too keen, though, to tape up that box as if you were attempting to avoid a plutonium leak because you'll subsequently find there are four or five of your most important pieces of paper that have been left out in the cold. Stuffing them in an envelope and sticking that willy-nilly onto the plutonium tape is not a professional solution.

Do get help. Many hands make light work. So, when somebody you barely know says 'Let me know if you need anything', just to be polite, make sure your answer begins with 'Actually..'. Don't be a hero; it's better to take a little at a time rather than go for the 'lazy man's load' option. For example, don't try to carry a heavy mixing desk, two mike stands, a disability bar for a pub toilet and a laptop computer slung over your shoulder all in one go (it was just an example, ok?).

Do make common sense decisions when it comes to the weather. If storm Dave or whatever its name is, is predicted to unleash its wrath in the afternoon on removals day, postpone your efforts. Don't, as we did, debate the possibility of completing on schedule, by employing a fleet of dinghies and some snorkels. Luckily, common sense prevailed otherwise we'd still have been swimming for shore as I write.

Finally, do dump everything unceremoniously at the end of the day, drink some beer and go to bed. Don't let any question beginning with 'Where did I put..?' enter your head. Don't worry about not being able to clean your teeth because, unbeknownst to you, your toothbrush is in the box marked 'stuff and nonsense'.

Do resolve never to move house again. Don't believe a word of it.

www.peteredgerton.com

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